It is 5:35 PM on a Friday, and I am sitting on a barstool at Oviedo Brewing Company in Oviedo, Florida, and I am thinking about the recent death of Sinead O’Connor. Sinead died this week; she was 56 years old. I grew up a big fan of hers. She stretched the boundaries of songwriting and challenged the commonly accepted traumas we inflict on each other. She was a complicated and often misunderstood person who had enormous talent. I knew her music before Nothing Compares 2 U because my favorite album by her was The Lion and The Cobra. But I digress – this is not a post about Sinead O’Connor.
But this is a post about time. Now, there have been a million posts about time and reflection and making the most of it – yadda, yadda, yadda. And this will not blaze any new trails, but recently, I have begun thinking about time and how time relates to me and my life. At this point in my life (I recently turned 50), I can reasonably expect to live to be about 90 years old. Given the state of healthcare and my stubbornness, I want to live to be 100, so let’s see. So suppose I do and die on my 100th birthday. That means I have, as of July 28, 2023, 18,072 days left on this planet. I have already lived 18,453 days, so I am over halfway home (if I am lucky).
Before Sinead O’Connor died, I recently read a blog post by entrepreneur Donn Felker. In his post and one by Tim Urban, I was already thinking about the time I have left and how I want to spend it. Who am I going to spend it with, what am I going to do, and what will I experience? How many more times will I listen to Nothing Compares 2 U or watch my beloved Miami Dolphins come up short yet another season? And then I started thinking about my best friend. Last year I lost my best buddy in the world. Dr. Adam Peck was the most important male person in my life. My father died in 2005, and he replaced him as the male person I depended on the most. He got to be on this planet for a total of 18,089 days. He lived a whole life but also had many other plans and dreams. I read this week that Sinead O’Connor was one track away from releasing her comeback album. Her producer said she was reimaging her voice and songwriting talents and using the trauma in her life to make a genuinely great album. One. Track. Away. I know that Adam was also working on a new book; he was so excited to see his kids go to college and looking forward to a time when he could do more travel. But time ran out on both of them.
I know time will run out on me too. I first started thinking about this a few years ago when Beverly Hills 90210 star Luke Perry died of a sudden stroke. He was 53 years old. When he died, Adam and I discussed how soon that was and how much we had left to do. We vowed to work harder and push ourselves to accomplish great things because you never know. And you know what? That was the wrong attitude to take. In the aforementioned Donn Felker post, he mentioned that the average parent has spent 90% of the time they will spend with their children by the time they turn 18 and go off to college. Even if they live close, the changes in lifestyle and family mean far fewer days together. This article shook me. I adore my time with our daughter Caroline and the idea it’s 90% over means I have to make the most of what we got.
For my 50th birthday Caroline and my wife, Nicole, gifted me a trip to Germany, France, and Belgium in September of this year. I get to attend a bucket list event and go to Oktoberfest. And while my default is to say no and keep working and not spend the money, losing Adam and O’Connnor’s death has made it clear my priorities were in the wrong place. But here I was this morning, knowing all of this, and still, I was not sure I should go. I get nervous traveling because I fear getting stranded; I often worry I look lazy or unproductive if I take time for myself, and so on. But then I had this conversation with one of my best friends, David. He is a bit younger than me, and, in his true millennial self, spoke to me, like Cher slapping Nicolas Cage in Moonstruck to “Snap Out of It,” he just made this whole discussion simple. We do it because we need more time, not the other way around. You are responsible all of the time and do it so you can take this moment, and when I get home, I will keep doing the work and killing it like I always have. But this time will be particular for me and the very people I worry the hourglass is evaporating from. It’s time to make the most of this time I have left. Time is the worst, but it is our only equitable commodity. While we all don’t get the same amount of time, each day is the same length, no matter if you are a Preston like me or Tom Brady.
I will end this post with some wise words I just heard in my ear pods as I wrote this post. The Poets, 311:
You’ve Got to Trust You Instincts
And Let Go of Regrets
You’ve got to bet on yourself now, Star
Because That’s Your Best Bet
They would echo these lyrics if Adam or my Dad were still here. Spend the time, go on that trip, and put in the work. Find the time balance and know that while you may only have so many slices of pizzas left or days with your wife and daughter, you need to maximize those moments. When you work, give 100%, don’t waste time, and get the most production you can muster – but the same goes for all the other living we all need to get up and do. Love you all – you are not alone.
Considering Outloud 